are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
