I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
