cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
