Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
