id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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