I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
