I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
