there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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