He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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