the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
