...so i touched it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
