i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
