i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
