At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
