he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
