Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
