Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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