I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
