I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He did a backflip because drugs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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