I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize