i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
