i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
