that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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