Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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