we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
