Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
