I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I fill condoms, not promises.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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