she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
