They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
