I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
