Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
