just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
