Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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