if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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