If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize