I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
