the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
