Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
