Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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