I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
porn star boner night. come get it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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