I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
