just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
