well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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