i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
