why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
