At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You ruined the universe
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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