You can't motorboat a personality
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
