he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
