I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
