hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize