all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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