Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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