it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I intend to get homeless drunk
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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