he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
