It's Friday. Sex?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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