He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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