the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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