i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
