she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
