my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
