She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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